Foreman's return
by T.M.K.06
Summary: Oneshot inspired by the promos for Mirror Mirror s4x05 Spoilers


_One-shot based on spoilers for 4x05. Tomorrow we will find out what really happened but this is how I think t__he scene might go. Probably won't go this way, but it's still fun to speculate. _

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"He will be my eyes and ears," Cuddy told House

"One more thing," House stopped Cuddy from leaving. "Since he is working for you, are you paying his salary, too?"

"He works for the Department of Diagnostics," Cuddy stated as if it was self-evident. "His salary comes from the department's budget."

"Interesting interpretation," House shot at Cuddy. "I don't want him here, he will be of no use to me whatsoever, I cannot fire him and his primary duty is to be your snitch and yet I have to cut the salaries of the people who **do** work for me and who **will** be useful to me to pay him. So, tell me, how much is he costing me then?"

"I hired him at his original salary," Cuddy informed House reluctantly. She hadn't wanted to reveal that but she knew House well enough to know that he would have gotten that information either from her or Foreman himself soon enough.

"At least you weren't fool enough to give him a raise," House huffed. "Fine, that means that I have about 30 percent less money to pay for the three fellows that I will eventually choose. Which in turn means..." Cuddy watched House walk to one of the fellowship candidates, the young black doctor. House sighed and looked the young man straight in the eye: "Sorry Dr Cole. It's been a pleasure."

"House!" Cuddy yelled at him. "You cannot fire someone arbitrarily to show you still can just because I forced you to take Foreman in your team."

"First of all abolish the notion from your mind that Foreman is in my **team**," House turned on Cuddy. "But since you hired him, I see no reason why I should have **two** affirmative action hires in my department."

"You cannot fire Dr Cole just because he is black, too," Foreman insisted.

"I can fire anyone I like for any reason I like," House pointed out. "Except you. And since Cuddy is here in person you don't need to be her eyes and ears right now so stay out of this."

"He is right," Cuddy stated. "You cannot fire Dr Cole just because keeping him would mean you have two black guys in your team."

"Don't worry Dr Cuddy," Cole had stood up and collected his things. "He isn't firing me because I'm black."

"See, no problem," House shrugged. "He isn't going to sue the hospital for racial discrimination."

"If I were to sue you it wouldn't be because of your racial remarks," Cole smiled at House.

"You mean that when I called you a _black religious nut_ it wasn't the black part that got your back up?" House pretended great surprise.

"House!" Cuddy was appalled. "You didn't. You... You need to learn that you cannot just say anything that pops into your mind!"

"No, it wasn't the black part," Cole was still smiling. "And don't worry Dr Cuddy; I'm not suing him for religious discrimination either. Not when he can counter-sue me for assault."

"House!" Cuddy nearly moaned in despair.

"Yeah, looks like your little snitch will have plenty to report to you at the end of every day," House observed.

"But you accept his decision to fire you," Cuddy asked Cole wanting to get to the bottom of it.

"There is not much point for me to compete for a position I cannot then afford to accept," Cole shrugged.

"You see, unlike another black person in this room, who we shall not name in order to protect his privacy," House informed Cuddy gleefully. "Cole is capable of commitment and thinking of others and not just himself. He is a single father. The salary I now, thanks to you and Foreman, could pay him is not enough for supporting a child."

"Oh!" Cuddy felt about two inches tall right then but she couldn't back up anymore so she decided that retreat was her best option. "Fine then. I have things to do. Foreman stays. Deal with it."

"Oh, I'll deal with it, never fear," was House's ominous answer.

Foreman walked down to the team candidates and tried to get to know them.

"Hi," he said smiling his best smile. "I think I need to know who everyone is so would you..."

"I'm Thirteen," 13 told him without any warmth in her voice.

"I'm Cut-throat," Amber was next. "It's short for Cut-throat Bitch and you can take that as a warning.

"I'm number 9," came the next introduction. "I used to be 6 but then I changed."

"Don't try to suck up to them," House interrupted the proceedings. "You just cost them a good chunk of their potential salary, they're not going to love you even if you were a loveable personality. Which you're not, so give it a rest."

"I have to work with them," Foreman pointed out.

"No you don't," House informed him. "You're not part of the team. You're just Cuddy's eyes and ears here so sit down and shut up."

"I'm a fully qualified neurologist and a board certified diagnostician," Foreman ground out from between his teeth.

"I know exactly what you are," House told him. "You're a quitter and an idiot."

"Just because I resigned from the fellowship does not mean I'm a quitter," Foreman glared at House. "Cameron resigned, too."

"Yeah, but she didn't come back **whining**," House responded. "Neither did Chase. You however left with all the pomp and circumstance you could muster and then, like an utter idiot, you took a job at New York Mercy."

"It was a good offer," Foreman said tightly.

"Yeah, I bet it was," House scorned. "And how did it end? Hmm? Exactly as I predicted. Why the hell do you think I sabotaged your first interview at Mercy! I knew this would happen. You would let your arrogance get the better of you and then you would come crawling back to Cuddy who would then foist you on me. I didn't want you back. I tried to make sure you wouldn't be back. But no, you had to know better. And no matter how many times I have been fired **never**, not even once, have I been fired for having **saved** a patient. So I suppose you did achieve one of your goals: you did not become me."


End file.
